


Museums are not fun for everyone

by Daja



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: F/F, Gen, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-17
Updated: 2015-02-17
Packaged: 2018-03-13 10:51:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3378848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daja/pseuds/Daja
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose and Kanaya want their daughter, Roxy, to acutally properly interact with their girlfriend, Vriska.</p>
<p>the best place? the museum!</p>
<p>luckily roxy and vriska say fuck that and go somewhere they'd actually like</p>
            </blockquote>





	Museums are not fun for everyone

Kanaya held up four tickets like they would win her the lottery, and all others should bow down before said tickets if they wish to have her blessing and benefit from her winnings. Such glorious tickets, humble in their white paper with black print, perforated just off of center, but in her eyes they shone gold, so valuable they were. For they were tickets to the -

 

“Museum.” Roxy said hesitantly, not entirely sure how to feel and not entirely sure she would ever feel like her mother did about museums. Like either of her mothers did, quite frankly.

 

“Indeed. A new exhibit has opened up on textiles and your mother is most eager to attend.” Rose sipped her tea to hide the thin smile that played on the edge of her lips. A smile that Roxy had long ago learned to be wary of. Well, as long ago as possible for a thirteen year old.

 

“Oookaaay, well, I hope you have the cooliest time there with all those craft friends? It sounds totes awesome for like, knitting patterns, and...things n stuff.”

 

“I am so pleased you think so because we purchased one of these tickets with you in mind. I was not certain how much you would be interest in such an exhibition because your last attempt at working with cloth was years ago and you seemed less than enthused with the experience. However, Rose assured me that this was in fact something that you would enjoy and urged me to include you in our day trip.”

 

No. Nonono. Roxy needed to rain check the shit out of this mother-daughter-mother adventure. Hanging out with her moms? Cool, something she wished happened more often. But walking around a gaint building filled with tapestries and quiet? She was becoming more and more certain of her opinion on museums and was a resounding Nope.

 

“Ah, gee, Moms, thats super cool and all, but I have this thing that I have to do, and its a real important thing. So thingy, so importanty. So you know, you should just invite one of your craft circle friends, like Jade or, or, or Calliope. She loves costumes and....things.”

 

“Isn’t it fortunate then that these tickets aren’t date specific? So, whenever you finish your very important thing, we can go after. And if you require help, you know I am always here.” Just like Rose to see right through her daughter’s bullshit. If it had just been Kanaya she might have been able to swindle her way out of it, or even hide away until danger had passed. But if Rose wanted her there, then there was no way she was getting out of it.

 

“Nah, I think I can manage. Just doing that math thing. Math all over this place. Mth falling out of my mathhole.” She needed a change of subject and she need it now. “That other ticket, who's it for? Because so far its me, mom 1 and mom 2, and if math tell me anything, that aint four.” Her fingers crossed behind her back for someone cool, someone interesting, someone she could actually talk to.

 

“We have invited Vriska to join us.” Kanaya’s eyes were still bright, had stayed bright with excitement the entire conversation. She was so goddam excited to go look at fancy cloth with her family. And Roxy couldn't take that away from her, even though she didn't really know Vriska at all.

 

She was someone that had been around all her life, sure, on the fringes, a family friend who was loud and was always up something. But recently that something happened to be dating her moms. And clearly they wanted them to actually meet and spend time together. To, like, bond or something.

 

“Sounds like awesome. Can’t wait, mom. I’m so excited.” She tried to pretend that she was too, but she had yet to master hiding her emotions away. “I’m gonna go to my room now and tell Janey all about it, she’ll be so Jelly. Totes jelly, ok, um… bye. “ Roxy absconded to her room before her mothers could make this anymore awkward.

 

“I do love the smell of embarrassed adolescents in the morning.” Rose couldn't keep the smile from her face any longer.

 

“Yes, I observed you reveling in how uncomfortable our daughter was. Was that entirely necessary?”

 

“If she is going to be so obvious about her lies, then I find no reason not to indulge in them. Anyways, its not like she is even going to be there the whole exhibit, so I have to to tease her while I can.”

 

“I only hope this proceeds as smoothly a you have assured me it will.”

 

“Ten minutes tops before they sneak out.”

~~

The day. The day day. Not the day that Roxy rued so much as had become resigned to. She was going to the museum. She was going to hang out with Vriska. And she was going to be bored shitless.

 

They were waiting in front of the building made of all white marble because what else would a museum be made of? Normal things like concrete or wood or even brick? Nope. Marble. Roxy glared at the building. The building glared back at her. The glare made her glare more. So intent was her glaring that she didnt even noticce the conversation behind her.

 

“I know you two encourage the independence shit, but seriously, your kid is weird. I mean look at her. She isn't even doing anything, just staring like a weirdo.”

 

“At least she is not destructive like you were at her age. I distinctly remember your mother having multiple words with you about destroying public property.”

 

“Shit, don't remind me about Momfang chewing me out.” Vriska turned her attention back to her girlfriend's’ daughter. “Should we like poke her or something? I mean, I came here for boring ass art, but I guess I could watch her outside while you two dork out. Probably be as entertaining. I could get a stick and poke her real hard with it.”

 

Rose spoke before Kanaya could berate Vriska about inappropriate behavior towards her daughter and promise double the bodily harm for whatever Vriska caused. “I know you're trying to hide your excitement, but worry not, I see through your harsh words and will rush us all in. I know your love of all things fabric cannot be contained,” Rose flashed Vriska a saccharine smile, “Roxy.” At the sound of Rose calling her name, she finally snapped out of her staring contest with building. Seriously what she she been doing? She was blushing when she turned around to join her parents.

 

“Sup, twerp.”

 

“Sup, Vriska.” Yeah. this was going to be a long day.

 

~

 

“Ugh, not another room! how many have we been in, eighty? And its just all the same thing!!!!!!!!”

 

“Please keep your voice down, Vriska. And no, there are not the same. The last room was themed around samples of cloth using the traditional loom, where as this one is full of cloth made using the sitting loom which is more favoured by the peoples in…”

 

“Booooooooring,” She interrupted Kanaya and silently Roxy agreed. But finally, Vriska shoved her hands in her pockets and followed Rose and Kanaya into the room, keeping pace with Roxy.

 

“Hey, hey, Tiny Lalonde.” Vriska muttered from the corner of her mouth.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“You want to abscond? We just passed a fire exit, and well, if I see one more roll of peruvian whatever the fuck super rare somthing or other, I dont think we’ll be the only ones who need the escape, if you catch my drift.”

 

Roxy looked at the door just a few paces behind them then back to her moms then to Vriska.

 

“They'll notice we're gone.”

 

“And? Lets go do something fun. I saw a laser tag place on my drive in.”

 

Laser tag? The last time Roxy had played Jake had still been in the country. Her fingers twitched in anticipation of the trigger.

 

“Its not even an eight minute walk. We could play a round, and be back before Fussyface and Lalonde even notice.”

 

“I… Ok. Lets do it. Lets make this happen.”

 

“Fuck yeah. lets get the hell out of here!!!!!!!!”

 

~

 

“I was wrong darling. They lasted 15 minutes.”

 

“I suppose we have to let them think they escaped without a trace? And I suppose we must continue through the exhibit as if we are not the wiser and have a lovely time without constant complaints.”

 

“It will be difficult, but a ruse we must preserve. Can we visit the bit with burial clothing next?”

 

~

 

“This is so much longer than eight minutes.”

 

“Ok, it’s more like eighteen, but its right there. And tell me this walk wasn't more interesting than whatever we left.”

 

“Whatev. Lets just get in so I can kick your butt.”

 

Roxy was practically skipping through the door, hell yeah she was going to kick butt at some laser tag. She hadn't lost a game since she was nine, and if she just happened to always be on Jade’s team when they played, it was just a happenstance. Not something she planned at all. She was gonna kick Vriska’s ass.

 

“Yeah right, I'll probably have to go way easy on you to make it fair.”

 

“Pft, I‘m the top shooter in my age when Jade takes me out, you got nothing on me.”

 

“Notice that bit? Your age? I’m how much older than you? I got all the experience.”

 

They began to strap on the sensors to their arms and legs. Raising the plastic gun to eye level, they pretended to shoot each other.

 

“More like you got all the creaky joints and back pain because you're old. Anyway, what kind of creep picks on a little kid.”

 

“You wish, it’d be the only way you could beat me, because I got no problem showing a kid their place.”

 

“So tell me, what was it like when duck hunt came out? Because the only thing you're use to shooting is pixilated ducks.”

 

The room dimmed and mist began to swirl around them.

 

“You are one of the-”

 

A voice rang throughout the room, READY SET GO.

 

Vriska’s lights immediately started to flash red, signalling that she had been shot.

 

“You little shit!”

 

“Hell yeah I am. Guess you could use some more luck!” And Roxy was gone; disappearing into the mist, hiding behind obstacles.

 

“I got all the luck! You just got lucky this one time! I'll be the lucky one in the end!”

 

Vriska ducked behind an overhang. If they were gonna play dirty then so be it. She would bring the pain.

 

And, to be fair, she didn't lose by that much. Twelve kills to Roxy’s sixteen.

 

“Are you actually shitting me. I lost to someone who isnt even in high school. What the hell.”

 

“‘Nother round? Looser buys fries?”  
  


“Bold words from a small fry, herself. Do you even have that much money?”

 

“Ya backing out? Don't think you can beat me?”

 

“Fuck you pint size. Its on.”

 

~

 

“Another Round. Looser gets shakes?”

 

“I’m going to destroy you.”

 

~

 

In the end Roxy got fries, a shake and a burger at the tiny joint just next door.

 

“I can’t believe I lost four times to someone less than half my age. But I gotta say, you have some good moves in there.” Vriska mumble around her massive bite of burger.

 

“Believe it, Serket.”

 

“Did you just quote Naurto to me.”

 

“Maybe, so what if I did.”

 

Vriska narrowed her eyes at Roxy. She was definitely Rose’s kid, and yet….

 

“You’re not bad, you know. For being raised by two sticks in the mud. And you chew with your mouth full, who does that.”

 

“Like your one to talk! And don't call them that, they're...cool. Why’re you dating them if you think they are lame.” Roxy protested.

 

“Cool? Yeah, I’m cool, Dave’s Mr. Cool, but your moms? Weird, sure, but cool? They thought going to the museum to inspect stitching patterns would be an exciting day. More like the lamest day ever. Dont get me wrong I love them both to bits. But kid, they ain't cool.”

 

Roxy slowly finished chewing her bite of burger, washing it down with a sip of shake before she was ready. “Well. They love you too, you know. So I guess its ok if you say that.”

 

“Hold up. Did they actually tell you that, that they felt that towards me? I mean not that there isn't tons to love, but did they actually say those words?”

 

“Have you met my moms? Of course not. But Mom 1 is totes fond of you, and lets you get away with so much that I never could, and Mom 2 always smiles more after being around you, so, its pretty obvi.” Roxy looked out the window as she talked, avoiding all eye contact.

 

“Ok, so I have no idea which one is Mom 1 and which one is Mom 2 but I guess both those things are good, so I can live with it.”

 

“Rose is Mom 2, unless you know, I need her, then she’s Mom 1. But yeah. Like. They seem happier with you around. And they wanted us to hang out today, so you must be pretty important to them, or else they wouldn't have bothered.”

 

“Sure, if you say so. But I gotta piss,” and get away this talk of feelings, “so dont go running away or anything, because no matter how much they like me, my head will be on a spike and my body fertilizer if I lose you.

 

“You make it pretty tempting to leave.”

 

“Don't be a shit. Ill be right back.”

 

Vriska’s heart was beating far quicker than usual, and she couldn’t stop the smile that was spreading across her face. Her fingers drummed against her thigh because a part of her wanted to jump and heel click and bask in what she just learned. Another part of her questioned everything Roxy had said. But Vriska Serket did not heel click. And she didn’t let it show that other people’s opinions matter to her. Not even her girlfriends’. So, instead, she calmly pushed open the door to the bathroom and she pulled out her phone to see of they had texted her.

 

TT: Kanaya and I are heading home. Bring Roxy home whenever you two are done being children.

 

Oh shit, this was big. They were trusting her with their kid. This is, like. Significant. Guess Roxy was actually being honest.

 

AG: Sure, sure, I guess I could do that for you. We're gonna have the best time.

 

Roxy was still there when she returned, sitting and looking at the pile of blankets across the street. That was a huge relief, sitting and looking was harmless, but Vriska wasn't sure what to do with her now. What does one do with kids after food and play?

 

“So. You're in my care now. What do you want to do?”

 

“Idk, my bff Jill?”

 

“What the hell is that suppose to mean?”

 

“Nothing. Is buying me alcohol out of the question?”

 

“Do you want you moms to dump me? And by dump I don't mean breaking up, I mean dumping my chopped up body into the ocean. Because hell no. What are you, like nine or something? Try again when you're sixteen and we'll talk.”

 

“I'm thirteen! And I’m gonna hold you to that. How about the arcades. You might be able to beat me on some of the older games, you know, the ones almost as old as you.”

 

“I will dominate you, twerp. Get your stuff and lets go.”

 

Roxy grabbed her pack, and bundled the rest of her fries in a few napkins. As they were turning to head back towards the museum and thus Vriska’s car, Roxy stopped her.

 

“I'll be right back.”

 

She scurried across the street and sat down next to what Vriska had first thought was just a pile of blankets, but on closer look turned out be a homeless man.

 

_Shit, what the hell is this kid doing_ , Vriska started to follow her across the road when she saw Roxy hand over the fries, and just talk to the guy. Her hands moving adamantly, and Vriska could even hear their laughter from where she stood. Yeah, she was definitely Kanaya’s kid too, but somehow so much warmer than either of her mothers.

 

Suddenly, Roxy was jogging back across the street towards her.

 

“K, we can go now.”

 

“You know that guy?”

 

“Nah, well, now I do. We going to the arcade?”

 

“Yeah……..ok.”

 

~

Vriska made up for her previous losses quickly by taking Roxy down in the racing games. Roxy still didn't understand how she lost to a woman with one eye. But it was the retro Metal Gear Solid games that drew most of their attention and coinage. By teaming up and an hour and a half of constant button clicking, button mashing, and yells of “COVER ME”, they finally made it all the way to the last boss.

 

Roxy was the first to die.

 

She frantically turned her pockets inside out, looking for another quarter.

 

“Shitshitshit, Vriska! I’m out!

 

“Dont cuss, you’re mom’s will kill me for that. And what do you mean you’re out? I gave you like 5$ worth of quarters.”

 

“Yeah, and you used, like, half of them! Give me one of your’s!”

 

“Hell no! Its my last one!”

 

“Come on! I have eight seconds left! Just give me yours!”

 

Roxy started to dig into Vriska’s pockets, searching for any change.

 

“What the hell are you doing down there!? Stop it! I'm about to die!”

 

“Ha! Got it!”

 

“No you don’t! I just died, I need it!”

 

They grappled for the last quarter, other patrons just looking at them: the fully grown woman with an eyepatch bear hugging the teenager.

 

“You’re time just ran out! Just give me the damn quarter!”

 

“No way, if I’m going down, you're going down with me!”

 

By the time Vriska finally wrenched the token out of Roxy’s hands, GAME OVER was flashing on the screen.

 

“Are you actually shitting me? You made me lose. I almost beat the game!”

 

“WE almost beat the game, you mean. Remember how many times I saved your life?”

 

“Only because I was clearing out all the enemies, and risking my neck!”

 

They glared at each other. Vriska towering over her charge, yet Roxy held firm in her stance.

 

It was Roxy who spoke first. “You're actually just kinda an asshole, aren't you.”

 

“Well, you're actually just...” Vriska hesitated, “kinda actually a good person.”

 

“Are you going soft? Because thats the worst comeback 5eva.”

 

Vriska relaxed her pose. “Nah, I just see why your moms are so proud of you. Come on, lets start getting you home.”

 

“Yeah right. Thanks for saying so, but they aren’t.”

 

Vriska steered her outside to the car. It looked like it was going to be feelings jam kinda car ride. Just as long as it wasn't Vriska’s feelings she was fine. “Are you shitting me? They are so proud of you, and yeah they did say those exact words. Can’t get them to shut up about you. Believe me, wish they would.”

 

Roxy just sat in her seat, absent mindily bucking herself in but not replying.

 

“Listen shitstain. You just said I'm an asshole, and you're right. Why would I lie about this.” She tossed over a glance as she pulled onto the road.

 

“Idk, but, like. I’m not mature, not like they want me to be. I can't even stay in the museum with them, and have a “cultured pallet” or whatever its called. I’m just their kid.” Roxy sunk into her seat, pulling her feet up so she could hug her legs, resting her forehead on her knees as she watched the road pass.

 

“Roxy. Look at me. They knew we were going to run off. Do you honestly think they thought I would stick around for that lame ass shit? And do you think it was just luck that we were so close a laser tag place? Just because you don’t have the same taste in Boring McBoring things, doesn’t mean they look down on you.”

 

They drove in silence, neither sure of what to say. But Vriska couldn't stand it, nervously tapping her fingers on the steering wheel, her left leg jiggling up and down adding a soft taptaptap that was the only thing that could be heard over the engine. She had to break the silence. She had to make Roxy smile, or at least uncurl from her folded position.

 

“And fuck it. Its not like you have to be mature at your age anyways. Its not like either of them were.”

 

Roxy’s voice was thick when she spoke, “Fo’ realsies?”

 

“Oh yeah. Fussyface threw the biggest silent treatment after I hooked up with one of our friends in highschool. Didn’t talk to me for months.”

 

“No way. Mom loves talking. She’s all about the communication.”

 

“Pft, definetly not then. She didn't even tell me she had a crush on me! Let alone what I did wrong. No way, that would be to easy. Instead, no talking. At all. And Lalonde? She went a bit delinquent after her mom died. As much as she’s all ‘therapist’ and ‘psychology,’” there was a soft chuckle from Roxy when she took both hands off the steering wheel to make air quotes, “when it comes to others. But when its actually her problems, she always’ve been one to either lash out or suppress the fuck out of her feelings.”

 

“Sooooo, if they were so childish then they wouldn't be mad if we stole that giant pink dinosaur we just passed?”

 

~

 

In the morning, when Kanaya came into the kitchen and looked out the window, she wasn't even surprised. Her only thought was, “It is bigger than Vriska’s vehicle.”

 

Rose looked up from her paper, sipped her tea and looked back down. “At least they got along. That is, except for the name. Its either Flufflisourus Rex or  Golgotha the Bringer of Thunder. Depends on who you ask.”

 

Kanaya softly hit her head against the wall. What the hell were they in for. 

 

 


End file.
